Pinewoods Morris Men


We have all the social dynamics of a 4th grade field trip. -Shag

The extra hop isn't in the dance, it's an individual idiosyncraticism. -Tom

Pathetic. -Tom

He plays bodhran just like an Italian grating cheese. -Tim (of Frank)

You're the only person I know who switched feet and was still onthe wrong foot. -Frank (to Steve D.)

It's open, I'll drink it. -David

Let's just do it. It's the same dance, you're just a different number. -Joe

Maybe a beer will help. -Frank

Pathetic. -Colin

Don't forget, it's supposed to look good. -Tom

That looked like a morris dance pretty much. -Tom

I've seen daycare centers that are more organized than this. -Shag

And the hucklebacks are supposed to look cool, not stupid. -Tom

Really, if you've seen one morris dance... you've seen one too many. -Laura

I'm sweaty just watching you guys. It's painful. More painful than usual. -Lynne

If you do it enough times, you're bound to get it right once. -Tom

These corner dances just go on forever. -Lynne

It makes up for being too long by being boring. -Tom

That's about it for today's legs. -David

I don't need to do this, but I will. -Joe

Who's "we" in this sentence? -Joe

If you can't dance, drink. -Tom

Try clashing with the music. -Tom

It was like something I've never seen before. -Tom

How did I get here? -Doug

How does it even start? It's just like, uh, that other one. -Doug

OK, but it's gonna be wrong. -Bill

You can pretty much make up a jig as you go along, because no one's going to do it differently. -Lynne

It does look a little better than it did. I mean, it looks like it's got potential. -Tom

It's amazing how good it looks when we all kind of do the same thing. -Tom

It's such a relative term, "late"... -Mike H.

Oh, this is that one that's endless. -Lynne

I'm going to watch us dance. -Steve
I'm going to pass out. -Ray

By the time Jamie gets here, we won't be able to recognize him,because we will have had lunch. -Steve R.

What foot is this? -Doug

That looks like my beer! Is that my beer? Anybody seen my beer?-Mike H.

How did this beer get in front of me? -Mike H.

There were times at practice when we were dancing really well. I remember being surprised. -Tom

Why don't we appoint a committee? -Shag
There's no hope but to have a committee. -Tom

Where's the guacomole? -Tim
It's only for people who know how to pronounce it. -Doug

I don't want to start this so early that we lose the sense of crisis in November. -Bill

I don't remember this dance. I'll do it. -Dan

Is what we did what we do? -Doug

When you lead with your hand, the stick naturally stays up. -Shag

Boy, that hurts the left knee. -Doug

It's better than you think it is, but it still needs work. -Bill

Gravity always wins. -Dan

Oh, shit. -Bill
That's my line. -Doug

I find Doug's peculiar galley quite interesting, actually. -Tom

I never really learned this dance. -Peter

Ring O'Bells, two sticks, you're in. -Joe

The music is your only hope of staying together. -Tom

Can you hand me something wet with an open top? -Tim

We'll be dancing three weekends in a row. It's almost like being a morris team. -Tom

It's unclear who's keeping track of all this stuff. -Steve R.

You guys should carry me around on a litter with a sign that says, "Don't let this happen to you." -Bill

There's a secret to all landing at the same time: music. Listen to the music. -Tom

We've gotten this occasionally, and when we do it looks fabulous. -Dave C.

Can we please change everything so I can relearn it all? -Jerry

It's official, ignore Frank. -Dave O.

I will defer to the book in this case. -Shag

That so got progressively worse. -Adam

What are the figurey things again? -Jerry

I don't think it should feel relaxed. -Joe

Whatever you feel you're about to do, just do the opposite. -Tom

It's almost two steps past perfect halfwayness. -Dave C.

Well, that was a good walk-through, maybe next time you'll dance it. -Joe

It's like a dog seeing how high up the hydrant he can pee. -Frank

What am I, the sword bitch? -Adam

We're supposed to land on the beat, correct? -Jerry

There's an advantage to dancing with the music: you're also all together. -Tom

We'll screw it up. Let's do it. -Joe

You have no idea how ridiculous I can look. -Jerry

What are these "lines" of which you speak? -David C.

Now the Lichfield expert is here, and I will tell you. -Shag

It's the music's fault. -Tom

But I live in the moment. -Bill

Don't dance like my brother! -Jerry

If we keep practicing, we won't know it at all. -Jeremy

Every spring, we seem to wind up doing this. -Joe

Note to self: Pinewoods plus high-tops equals not so much. -Sam